Monday, May 19, 2008

Meet "BOTB"

MWF with BOTB. Looking to get pregnant ASAP. Ex-nympho turned ambivalent looking for magical Jesus-like immaculate conception. If you can get my husband baby ready you're the one for me!

Smoked pot -- $20 ahh one of my favorite pastimes in college
Dropped acid -- $20 you should see the tripping sex tape ;)
Ever had sex at church -- $50 ... no but would a graveyard count?
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $20
Had sex with someone you met on My Space -- $1,000.00
Had sex for money -- $50
Vandalized something -- $500 TP-ing and forking are fun
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $50 Of course, they have a water bed
Beat up someone -- $50
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $50 I dressed up as a boy for Halloween one year. That counts right?
Given money to stripper -- $20 - money and blow
Been in love with a stripper -- $50
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$100 oh god ya
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $50 only work with guys
Ever drive drunk -- $20 - most fun drive of my entire life ... I will never do it again
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $30 ya and it sucks
Used toys while having sex -- $30 - I love my 2 foot glass dildo (It's double sided get your mind out of the gutter I don't have a 2 foot vaj)
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $100 pretty much every weekend of my senior year of high school
Went skinny dipping -- $50 - in the ocean
Had sex in a pool -- $20 - yes but I don't like squeaky water sex so that was a one time thing
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $50 then was banned from ever doing it again ... long story
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $200
Cheated on your significant other -- $100 – ya but I cheated on him with my future hubs so that makes it ok
Masturbated -- $50 everyone should do it
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$300 it’s complicated
Done oral -- $50
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25 - please I've had sex with the driver of the vehicle of course I've given and received road head
Stole something -- $10 I used to steal books from school when I was in first grade
Had sex with someone in jail -- $50
Made a nasty home video -- $50 I have a whole collection
Had a threesome -- $100 w00t me and two guys. Jealous?
Had sex in the wild -- $20 love love love outdoor sex golf courses, under bridges, in the woods, on the beach yum!
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $50 it's called college
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $50
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $100 … ok it was 9 years and some months, but I was 16 and he was married so that makes up for the few lost months
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $20
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $20 that's another it's complicated
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $20 ya I lived with the asshole too
Went streaking -- $50
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $50 It was because I had to not because I wanted to...
Been arrested -- $100
Spent time in jail -- $500
Peed in the pool -- $20 – I was a swimmer. I’ve peed in the pool, on the deck in the showers ...
Played spin the bottle -- $20
Done something you regret -- $100.00 if you haven’t you haven’t lived
Had sex with your best friend -- $500.00 I fucked him then I married him years later
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$50
Had anal sex -- $50 and love it, but I quit and don’t do it anymore
Lied to your mate -- $5 who hasn't?
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $20 Again, who hasn’t?

My bail is *gulp* $2845

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