Thursday, May 22, 2008

SAHW: Deconstructed

I know what you're thinking...

What the hell does a Stay At Home Wife do if there are no drool monsters to take care of? Stop. Just stop. I don't need any Suzy Homemakers telling me that its only worthwhile to stay at home if you have children. I already have a mother-in-law who fills the position quite nicely. Don't get me wrong. I love this woman like my own mother but she's got a chronic sickness that is medically defined as granchildrenitis. Its a constant and neverending pain. I think she's going to start a foundation soon.

Contrary to popular belief I am not a baby hater. I adore children. Let me clarify. I adore "other people's children" because when I am done holding your crap factories, I can give it back to you and relish in the fact that I do not own a diaper genie. See the beauty of the sitch? Now you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I know you do.

But can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

Why do complete strangers feel its their right to tell me that I need... No wait... its my *DUTY* to have children now that I am married? Since when are women defined by that school yard jump rope mentality: first-comes-marriage-then-comes-kids narrow brick road?

Not this bitch. ::pointing emphatically at self::

Thank you very much.

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