Tuesday, May 20, 2008


MWF with the need to be the best at everything...cooking, baking, entertaining, staying fit, interior decorating and basically just existing and being fabulous. Any jealous haters need not apply...I've got enough in my life.

Smoked pot -- $20 at least once a weekend in high school.
Did acid -- $20
Ever had sex at church -- $50
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $20 his name was definitely Derek "like oil derek" he said
Had sex with someone you met on My Space -- $1,000.00
Had sex for money -- $50
Vandalized something -- $500 does an empty sixer of wine coolers in a USPS mailbox to hide evidence count?
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $50
Beat up someone -- $50
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $50 this is amateur when you're a woman.
Given money to stripper -- $20 I think I'm owed an extra $20 bc the stripper was my friend, no?
Been in love with a stripper -- $50
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$100
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $50
Ever drive drunk -- $20 Ashamed to admit it, but most Fridays after Happy Hour at my old job. I'm done with that junk.
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $30 I definitely chaperoned a middle school prom, went out after and reported to field day the following day in less than stellar shape.
Used toys while having sex -- $30 duh.
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $100 I could really rack up some major bucks here if you let me count each time.
Went skinny dipping -- $50 You wish you had photos.
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $50 Let's be honest, who doesn't want that attention?
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $200
Cheated on your significant other -- $100 Let's be clear...NOT my husband.
Masturbated -- $50 Has anyone not?
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$300 and then made them hate their friend who told on us because I said he was lying? yup. And it was his friend...not even that close...I'll take half that money to be fair
Done oral -- $50 seriously?
Got oral -- $5 would I have married him if I hadn't?
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25 long drives get boring.
Stole something -- $10 I was young and in need of eyeliner.
Had sex with someone in jail -- $50
Made a nasty home video -- $50
Had a threesome -- $100
Had sex in the wild -- $20 I don't really do "wild." I'm from NYC. Get real. But the beach counts.
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $50 and had sex at the same time...and did it better.
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $50
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $100
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $20
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $20
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $20 Couldn't break the boy's heart, could I?
Went streaking -- $50
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $50
Been arrested -- $100
Spent time in jail -- $500
Peed in the pool -- $20 isn't that what chlorine's for?
Played spin the bottle -- $20 when I was like 12, really?
Done something you regret -- $100.00 who hasn't?
Had sex with your best friend >-- $500.00 he's my hub.
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$50
Had anal sex -- $50
Lied to your mate -- $5 little white.
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $20

Bail me out for $2015!

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